Sunday, October 17, 2010

It's finally gonna happen!!!!!!!!!!

What's a seven letter word for pure happiness? D I V O R C E
It's finally in the works! Dummy pried his ring off with plyers and through it at me so i through it back and then into the garbage!! Yeah i'm finally free!! No more hearing what a terrible mother I am or how the house is a mess!! FUCK YOU DOUCHE BAG!! good luck finding a dummy that will put up with you!! YOU DRUNK PIECE OF SHIT!!! How about stop drinking and get your life together before you judge someone else DICK! I'm just sooooo happy to get out of this shame of a marriage!!! I haven't been in live with him since thlike him the "incident" and everyday more i send with him i hate him more and more!! The lawyers are called and i'm thrilled. I can't wait to find someone who actually loves me more then BEER. Not interested in finding anyone too fast I'll enjoy the time alone on my weekends OFF- WEEKENDS OFF my new two favorite words!! Don't worry Tracey and Cindy, I'm fine this has been coming for a long time I'm way over him!!! REALLY!!
peace out!

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Decision Time

So i have decided that i don't want to be here anymore! Jeff is a DOUCHE BAG and my kids drive me soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo crazy that i don't want to be around them!!! I have decided that i will be getting a divorce and that i don't want custody of the kids, Jeff can have them. I have completely lost my mind, i can't concentrate on anything, i'm miserable ALL the time and all i want to do is SCREAM SCREAM SCREAM every second of the day. Sure i'll miss those two, mostly the big one, satan NOT SO MUCH. I'll see them on the weekends and during the week but i need to get out of the life that i am living CAUSE IT SUCKS- there are like 2 things in my life that i actually like, my FRIENDS and my FAMILY, meaning- mom, dad, sister, brother- that's it! MY LIFE SUCKS I HATE IT I WANT OUT OF IT! IF I HAD JUST ONE WISH, YOU WOULD THINK IT WOULD BE FOR ME TO BE WITH ROB OR TYLER, BUT NO IT WOULD BE TO GET A SECOND CHANCE AT MY MISERABLE LIFE CAUSE I WOULD DO THINGS ALOT DIFFERENTLY- REMEMBER WHEN I SAID I WAS NEVER HAVING KIDS WELL THIS TIME I WOULD ACTUALLY MEAN IT- AND JEFF WOULD NOT BE HERE EITHER- I WANT TO BE ALONE CAUSE I'M SOOOO UNHAPPY THAT I WOULD RATHER DIE THEN STAY IN THIS LIFE THAT I'M STUCK IN NOW! NEED TO GET AWAY FROM HERE AND MEET PEOPLE I DON'T DREAM ABOUT MURDERING! Cindy and Tracey- i'm not going to kill myself, i'm too selfish for that, but i dooooo hate my life and really do need to change it!

Friday, July 30, 2010

Yeah I Do!

That's my answer to u Jeffrey u asshole! I do except u to kiss my ass u want to know why because i should have left your ass last week when u turned my like upside down by getting a DWI u fuck! Everything has seemed to go back to normal, like oh well Jeff screwed up again but "this needed to happen, to make me see that i had a problem", u know what FUCK U!!!! Everything is not even close to being back to normal and it's not gonna be for a REALLY REALLY long time so fuck you and the horse u rode in on you bastard. WOW writing in this thing really make me feel better cause it lets me get everything off my chest and i don't have to feel guilty about what i say!! SO FUCK U JEFFREY BACZKIEWICZ CAUSE U SUCK!!!

Saturday, July 17, 2010

A little better

I have calmed down a little since my last blog the other day, but I really needed to get that off my chest!! He has been a little better but not too much, we'll see how the rest of the weekend goes. He has already woken me up at 5am so it's not off to that great of a start, but only time will tell!!
Annie the saboteur really and she's kicked out the first week! CBS must be pissed!! The only thing left now is the life long friend thing, and Brendan cause he's HOT- Rachel's a dummy I can't stand her!!

Thursday, July 15, 2010

SATAN

I AM 100% POSITIVE THAT 3 YRS AGO THIS PAST MARCH I WAS IMPREGNATED BY OLE LUCIFER HIMSELF BECAUSE 9 MOS LATER IN DECEMBER OF 2007 I HAS HIS "SPAWN" (ALL OF YOU MAY KNOW HIM AS CHRISTOPHER) BUT I KNOW HIM BETTER AS, WHAT I NOW CALL HIM, "SATAN"! HE IS THE WORST KID I HAVE EVER COME ACROSS IN MY LIFE!!! NO I'M NOT JUST UPSET AND NO HE'S 2 1/2 YRS OLD HE'LL GROW PUT OF IT, IT'S THE "TERRIBLE TWO'S", NO NO NO HE IS THE SPAWN OF SATAN HIMSELF. HE IS PURE EVIL!!!! HE IS TRYING TO SLOWLY KILL ME, I AM TOTALLY CONVINCED!!! I WOULD LOVE TO DROP HIM OFF SOMEWHERE AND BE RID OF HIM!! NO REALLY YOU GUYS HE IS HORRIBLE. ALL HE DOES IS SCREAM HIS BRAINS OUT, WAKES UP EVERYDAY BETWEEN 4 & 5 AM! AND IF YOU DON'T GET UP WITH HIM HE SCREAMS HIS BRAINS OUT UNTIL YOU GET UP WITH HIM, AND OF COURSE I'M THE ONE THAT GET'S UP WITH HIM EVERY FRIGIN GOD DAMN DAY!! OH WAIT ON SUNDAYS I GET TO GO BACK TO BED AT 8:30 UNTIL ABOUT 11-11:30 OH GEEZ THANKS YOU FUCK FACE!! BUT I DIGRESS. THIS "KID" IS BAD REALLY REALLY BAD AND I DON'T REALLY LIKE HIM!! REALLY I DON'T- I'M KIND OF SORRY TO SAY THAT IF I KNEW 3 YRS AGO WHAT I KNOW NOW I WOULD HAVE NEVER HAD HIM!! I SWEAR TO GOD I'M SERIOUS- NICK WAS NEVER EVEN CLOSE TO BEING AS BAD AS THIS KID! I CAN'T TAKE HIM ANYMORE, I'M ABOUT TO GO OVER THE EDGE- I CAN'T CONCENTRATE AT WORK, I'M SCREWING UP A LOT THEN USUAL- I'M SCREAMING MY BRAINS OUT AT HIM WHEN I'M DRIVING BECAUSE HE'S SCREAMING THAT HE WANTS GUM AND WHEN I GIVE IT TO HIM HE THROWS IT BACK AT ME. I JUST CAN'T TAKE THIS KID ANYMORE!!! I SERIOUSLY LOSING WHAT IS LET OF MY MIND!!! WOW I REALLY NEEDED TO GET THAT OFF MY CHEST- JEFF THINKS I'M AN ASSHOLE FOR THINKING AND SAYING THESE THINGS BUT I CAN'T HELP IT I'M GOING FUCKIN CRAZY!!
they better reveal the saboteur tonight on big brother cause i'm going crazy- i think it's kathy!

Seacrest OUT

Monday, June 7, 2010

Robert Pattinson

I have no idea why i LOVE him sooooo much, i just do. Watching the MTV movie awards last night just made me LOVE him more. When Kristen won for best actress, he was sooo smiley and happy, u could just tell how much he loves her. I miss being looked at like that :( but oh well life goes on, he'll probably be screwing another broad next week but still he loves her and u can totally tell!! The little skits with Tom Cruise were pretty funny 2!! I can't tell u why i love a 24 yr old kid but i do- he's HOT and he loves his girlfriend. I suppose i just want to b adored and i'm not. Yeah he loves me but i want 2 b looked at like i'm adored not just cause he has 2 or just does. I just miss being adored.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

I HATE STUPID CRAZY PEOPLE

I really just can't stand people!! At work we have gotten (i swear to GOD) the dumbest, craziest people EVER this week. We had a lady come in the office the other day with her 2 kids. She asked me if we could write an excuse for her sons school because he had a rash on his stomach and his school wouldn't let him come back to school without a note from a dr. I asked her if she knew that she was in a dental office and she said "yes, the school said a note from any kind of dr was ok". I swear on my children's lives that is true! Then yesterday this crazy frigin guy came in with a long beard asking if we took walk ins, of course we do cause Aspen will take any riff raff that comes into the office from the streets. He was talking and every couple of words he was making this noise, it sounded like Hannibal Lector when he was saying " i ate his liver with fava beans and a nice Chianti", ya know that sucking in noise. I swear to God i thought he was going to grab me, kill me, then cut me up and put me in a refrigerator. He was frigin crazy!!!! I seriously wish that it was legal and acceptable to PUNCH someone in the face! I'm not kidding i just want to punch people sometimes so bad when they are talking to me and they say something stupid i just want to wind up and punch someone right in the face. If i were President...

Monday, May 3, 2010

JUNE 30th GET HERE SOON!

OMG I SAW THE NEW ECLIPSE TRAILER TODAY AND I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE FRIGIN MOVIE 2 COME OUT!!! I'M WRITING IN ALL CAPS THAT'S HOW EXCITED I AM AND IT'S GOING TO BE IN IMAX!! HELLO ROBERT PATTINSON IN ALL HIS WHITE MAKEUP SPLENDOR I CAN'T WAIT!!! OH DID I SAY THAT ALREADY WELL I CAN'T I AM SUCH A LOSER BUT I REALLY CAN'T WAIT IT'S MY FAVORITE BOOK OF THE 4 AND BY THE LOOKS OF THE NEWEST TRAILER IT'S GOING TO LIVE UP TO MY VERY HIGH EXPECTATIONS!! OF COURSE NOTHING TRUMPS MY LITTLE BABY GIRL THAT'S ARRIVING IN SEPTEMBER BUT I'M PRETTY EXCITED NEVER THE LESS!!! CAN'T WAIT TO SEE IT IN IMAX, RIGHT CINDY, JULY 1ST AM SHOW?!
SEACREST OUT!

Friday, April 30, 2010

back 2 reality

it's been a week and i miss being away on vacation! i gained like 7 lbs but ave already lost about 4 whatever!! the cruise was AWESOME!!! i loved it i didn't really feel the rocking at all just at night when i was washing my face and brushing my teeth. the movie channel that they had played new moon so i watched it 3 times and also watched couples retreat which was really funny!! i bought a "coach" purse in the bahamas it's awesome i love it and swam with stingrays (de-stung) it was awesome i held one and it felt like a pillow! i would definitely "cruise" again!! oh yeah i also showed the cruise director my boobs :) my sister made me we were playing an adults only game show and the "quest" was to show him your boobs for points to win a frigin NCL tote bag- we didn't win but who cares i'll never see these people again I HAD FUN you only live once right? it was awesome can't wait to do it again!!!
seacrest out!

Friday, April 16, 2010

it's been awhile

WOW i have not written anything in awhile but i've been busy with the kids and hockey and now baseball has started so i'm pretty busy. Countdown to the Cruise t minus 6 days and i'm out of here BITCHES!!! whoa who i can't frigin wait!!! i;m in the middle of bidding on a CHI flat iron in ebay right now i'm at 67.50 with 15 min left, hope i win!! another quick update i'm down 16 lbs on my diet!!! i still have ALOT 2 go but i'm getting there!!! i still look like crap in a bathing suit but hey i could look worse!!! every things pretty good around here and actually can't complain too much!!! well i guess that's all 4 now
HEY TRACEY i i couldn't be happier for you and Russ about the baby GIRL that u are having YEAH A GIRL 2 DRESS UP!!!!!!!!!!
Seacrest OUT

Saturday, March 6, 2010

weight loss!

it's been about 3 1/2 weeks and i'm down about 7.5lbs!!! i started to exercise a little well actually i bought the leslie sansone "walk away the pounds" 1-2 mile express from ebay and have been doing that every night 4 the past week and a least twice a day on the weekends it's really easy and good 4 me because i don't exercise and this is very low impact- NO RUNNING cause the only way i'm running is if some one's chasing me with a knife! i feel better, i don't know if it's psychological or if i really am improving a life but idc i feel good and i want to keep losing and feeling better- i can actually go up and down my basement stairs w/o losing my breathe now and that's after just a week of exercise and 3 of eating better- my diet is called "the no crap diet" and i think i'm gonna write a book about it- we'll c- peace out!

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Step son

so as my followers know i stupid ass step son got arrested for, of all things he could have, break dancing on a girls floor during a party and messing up the hardwood. REALLY i would have really appreciated something a little more criminal then that. Though i did get to see him in handcuffs which made me all warm and fuzzy inside, only the first of many times i hope!! you see i don't really like him, he's a 19yr old in 2 weeks and is a complete waste of space. he did not graduate from high school, LOSER and then he stole 8k from me and now he's got my last name spread all over the tv and apparently the internet! my nephew told me he's on some website that makes fun of the "stupidest" crimes that people get arrested for, awesome! of course my asshole husband isn't talking to me because i'm so like "of course he ends up in jail, it was only a matter of time", and i'm happy about it the kids a fucking waste of air that someone else could be breathing- yes i know that's his kid and what would u do or say to some one if they said that about my boys- i know i know but this is fun because as usual i'm ALWAYS RIGHT and this was a prediction that i made after the "rehab incident", but i digress i happy he got in trouble, it's ONLY the beginning, mark my words, and my husband can go straight to hell in a hand basket for all i care!- PEACE OUT GO USA!

Sunday, February 21, 2010

old friends

so i went to brennan's to see some old friends that i used to work with at tops almost 20 yrs ago- wow how crazy was that - at first i couldn't find them and i had to call cindy (thanks again) to log onto my facebook page to get adam's # because i forgot to write it down- so after all that i found them in a side room- the first person i saw was roy alge- he didn't recognize me iwaved at him and he waved back but only to be nice then i found adam and he came running over yelling "buffamonti" he called over roy and he could nit believe it was me- i used to have HUGE glasses and short hair so no one really recognized me at first- then i saw the hartke girls and that's pretty much where i stayed the 2 hours i was there- how else did i see- jim ericson, mark hagar, all the hartke siblings, tony and jen pelosi, and some other people who faces i remembered but not their names, of well it was fun i got to remenise and old times and how much fun we had working together and how fast time as gone by- that's really i big part of it for me holy crap it's been like 17-18yrs since i have seen most of these people and it seems like 5 yrs ago not almost 20- WFT can't believe how fast time has flown by- i'm old i just need to except that fact- i'm not sure that i want to be 16yrs old again but damn i had some good times with those people and i will never forget it but life goes on and at 11:00 last night it was back to real life!

Saturday, February 20, 2010

old times

so tonight i'm getting together with some people that i used to work with at Tops and most of them i haven't seen since then which has been about 17-18 yrs!!!! i don't look the same that i did back then and i'm alittle worried! i mean of course i don't look the same as i did when i was 17yrs old but i'm really alot fatter then i ever thought i would be and i'm worried that people are not going to recognize me because i'm a big fatty pants. i mean i know that i look like me but i just wish that i wasn't so chubby right now! anywho i'm really excited to see these people it's been so long and if it weren't for facebook i probably would have never seen some of these people ever again!! i am really looking forward to this but i'm still a little hesitant but i am definitely going, i'm just going to put on my best jeans and some black top to take away from my apparently, thanks to the pic on my passport that i just got in the mail last week, HUGE head holy crap the whole frigin page is my enormous head and i look a little "terroristy". i'll let you know how the get together goes tonight. peace out!

Friday, February 19, 2010

weigh in

so i weighed myself and so far have lost 3lbs!!! whoa who!!! hey i'll take it- i'm really trying to eat well- a patient bought us donuts this morning and i wanted to eat one soooo bad even had it in my hands but Diane, my co worker said DON'T DO IT and i didn'y i put in right back in the box- i can't believe the will power that i have- i'm just so sick of bing fat and having clothes not fit me- i want to walk into a store and buy a cute dress or top and not have to look for a 2X or worry how my bid huge ass looks in it- so i'll take my 3lbs and hope that it turns into 25 by the time my boat sets sail in april!!!

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

diet time

I started a diet on monday with my sister, larry and ryann because we are all going on a cruise and well we are all fat!! I started really really fat and i'm hoping that i will end up not so fat!! i've already lost 3 lbs since monday so i must be doing something right!!! i bought the "walk away the pounds 1&2 mile" dvd on ebay for 3.99 so i will now have 2 start exercising so i can lose weight fdaster then f i was not 2 exercise at all- i frigin hate it but i have to do it i'm fat and i'm sick of losing my breathe going up the GD stairs in my house it's pathetic i have to make some major weight changes in my life and the lap band takes too long to get- you have to go thru all sorts of tests and write letters on why you are fat and why you want the surgery and i don't have time for that right now i need to wear a bathing suit in 2 months and until i get on that boat and see 1 women in a bathing suit fatter then me then i have to do something- i'll keep my blog posted on my weight lose because putting on facebook will only open up and shit load of stuff from all my "friends" and i would rather leave it between me and my followers!...

Sunday, February 14, 2010

i don't know just some rambling

so these Olympics are pretty good we've won some medals and by "we" i mean the usa of course cause i have so much to do with it right! anyways lost has started and i'm just as confused as i was when the first episode aired like 6 years ago i think i may have some thing figured out though- ok here it goes- the "if the plane never crashed" stuff is some one's dream because in the 1st episode this season desmond was on the plane talking to jack- desmond was not on the plane he was already on the island and then in the 2nd episode ethan was one of the doctors when claire was in labor- was also was already on the island so this whole the plane never crashed side story is not right- the story that shows everyone on the island is the actual story that's happening now- that's just what i think...
anyways my kid is addicted to the wii my other son is possessed by Satan and my husband and is a pain in my ass (but getting better) so i guess it's just anther day of my wonderful life right?!

Saturday, February 13, 2010

holy crap

holy crap did see the video of the lugue guy that got killed yesterday they showed it on the nbc nightly news it was crazy they didn't even warn you it was coming they just showed him going thru the course and rounding the corner and then BAM he hits the frigin pole it was crazy!!! i'm no saint or anything but they make a complete world wide issue of janet's "boob" or saying "ass" on tv but showing a guy shattering his back and head on tv at 630 in the evening in "ok" this world really is screwed up!!! how about his family and friends and i don't know kids watching. Oh but GOD FORBID my kid sees a boob we better make a federal case out of it- fine everybody and their mother- make janet and jt apologize- and stick us with "shit" half time acts for the last 4-5 yrs- REALLY THE WHO REALLY! hi 1970 called they want their bands back!!
hello world can we get a hold of our selves and chill out a little- i mean who gives a shit about a boob or violence on tv when they are showing real life death on the nightly news i mean come on you idiot people out there and all this politically correct shit i'm sick of it!!!!
wow that's quite a diiferent blog then my last one were i professed my love for a 23 yr old actor- this one was pretty "deep" anywho i love robert pattinson!!!...

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

addiction continued

so i realized that my entire post did not post and i never finished with my rant on robert
so from about a year ago till now i'm obessed with him- i'm 12 yrs older then him- i have a problem it's really bad!!

i really want to go see Dear John! the book was awesome as every nicholas sparks book is but not this weekend every dummy gonna be out cause it's valentines dat so i'll wait till next week and go see it with Cindy....

nothing much else is going on- life is pretty boring- you know sleep, work, sleep, work, etc etc etc...

hope all my "followers" are doing well all 2 of you!!

babye

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

addiction?

i really hve a problem with the fact that i love robert pattinson ALOT- i know that i have an addictive personality which leads back to michael jackson and new kids but i really love this frigin guy let's take a look at my problems with "loving" celebrities:

8yrs old- michael jackson- rick springfield

14yrs old- new kids on the block

17yrs old- tom eplin- traveled to pa to see him- end result parents thinking we were dead but... had the best time with him he was awesome!

28yrs old to current- tyler christopher- have traveled many miles to meet him- have lied to certain people of my whereabouts to go to see him still would travel many miles to see him again and again- do you know that when i was going to go to LA for the studio tour i actually made up and printed an "email" that i won the trip so jeff wouldn't know that i had to pay $500 just to go plus hotel and airfare- neve ended up going cause i had a damn kid (i'm kidding aboout the damnoart)

Saturday, February 6, 2010

kids

my frigin baby boy is driving me nuts!!!!!!!!!!!! if christopher was my first i would have tied my own tubes to make sure that i didn't have anymore kids. he's so bad i don't remember nick ever being close to as bad as christopher! he's a maniac all he does is whine and cry and hit and scream, like a maniac! nicky scared of him and so am i that's why i nicknamed him DEMON SEED cause i really think that there is a little satin running thru that kid!!! nick drives me crazy but nothing like this kid holy crap- i'm looking into a legal way to sell him on the internet!
anywho robert pattinson is hot i love him his new movie comes out next mnth and i can't wait- june in only 4 months away for eclispe to come out and i had a dream last night that was a whole movie i think i'm gonna start writing it as soon as i remember all of it so don't hold any breathe's. so i suppose that's it for today- if anyone GODmothers out there want to take their GODson for a couple of years or do please let me know!!!

Thursday, February 4, 2010

things have changed

so it's been a couple of days since my last blog and things have changed. i had a holiday party 4 work this past weekend and igot really really drunk, i needed it after the past couple of weeks i've had, anywho jeff went with me and we actually talked and on the way home he decided to inform me that when he went to the doctors that week they had noticed that his lung fuction was VERY poor and that he needed to stop smoking asap. he also has informed me that he thinks that there are other things the matter with him besides his crap lungs and that he was probably going to die sooner then later. GREAT so i started to cry and told him about the cruise in april. we are kinda back to normal but not really- i hope that he doesn't die anytime soon but that there will be other changes besides his smoking, ie his drinking and the nasty way that he talks to me. he has really tried, with my help course, to ask me things instead of telling me things, like when he thinks the kids need a bath, instead of saying "go give the kids a bath", he says "would you please give the kids a bath" i let him know the diiference a please and thank you can make in a statement or question. anyway we are working on things and i guess we'll see what comes of the blood tests that he's having on monday and the chantix he starts to aid in the quitting of smoking- i hope everything works out cause i guess i really do lve the jackass afer everything- as long as we try to continue to talk with some respect i think that it's a good start for us....

Saturday, January 30, 2010

it's not pitch black a 5 o'clock anymore

i was at work yesterday and when we left it actually wasn't pitch black- that makes me happy! spring is a comin'!!
my bestest friends believe that we need counseling which is totally true- IF both parties were willing- he would probably go tell them it's all me and never change- he needs to stop drinking so much and smoking all together but he won't i've asked him a thousand times and he will not stop either one so it's useless. I don't want to hate him as much as i do but he makes its soooo easy. i don't get the obession with the drinking yes i know i had a "bit" of a drinking problem when i was younger but the key word in that statement was "younger" i'm 35 yrs old and have 2 kids i don't drink a case of beer in 2 days like their father or smoke a pack of cigs a day with a no so great family history like him. i don't want to break up this family the boys need him around he's a great father to them but i need a husband not just a father 4 my kids. i guess thats all for today i've got my work "holiday" party 2nite yeah!.....0

Thursday, January 28, 2010

frigin snow

what's with the snow- i know i live in Buffalo get used to it already but 2day was really freaky- first i wake up to a couple of inches on my car- then i get to work and it's sunny 2 hours later you can't c across the street an hour after that it's sunny again then 2 hours after that it's like a frigin blizzard again WEIRD! i think the apocalypse in coming oh well what ev's

i just can't wait 4 spring to get here!! i leave 4 my cruise on the 23rd of april and i can't wait!!! the could sail me around Miami and back and i wouldn't care as long as i was away from this house- speaking (or not speaking) of which it has been 11 glorious days not speaking to my AHOLE husband- i've never has this many days in a row of happiness!!!!!!!.

well that's all 4 2day- hey the sabres won last night- it took a shoot out but a wins a win i don't care how they get it!! GO SABRES!!!!!!!.........

Monday, January 25, 2010

mean people SUCK

ok i am a receptionist in a dental office and today the old saying "don't shut the messanger" REALLY took affect- listen asshole it's not my fault your 8 yr old dentures broke and that the doctor hasn't seen you since '03 but i'm not taking you nasty ass denture over the counter to have fixed- you will wait your turn, see the doctor 4 an exam and wait patiently for the lab tech to fix them or you can shove you nasty ass dentures straight up your ass. It's monday asshole take a fucking chill pill or die your old bastard- oh btw i'm about the meanist person to roam the planet on 2 legs- i hate people- that's my general rule- treat people how you expect to be treated that's how i feel but apparently people in the NF region of NY don't feel that way- (i thinks it's because of LOVE CANAL) they aren't as smart as the rest of WNY- but anywho i digress- be nice to me and i'll be nice to you- at least to your face! GO SABRES!......

Sunday, January 24, 2010

hope in a jar

so i just got out of the shower and i was drying my face and then i reached for my "hope in a jar" cream, applied it to my face and then had a thought that maybe there could be "hope in a jar". But i'm no that confident that that is even possible since when i come out of the bathroom, i'm still in my crap house with my crap husband and not exiting a bathroom in LA on way BACK to Rob's bed.
But i digress- i can always have hope that at some point in my life i will be hopeful again- i look at my kids and think that this crap life that i have right now can change- which brings me back to the jar- if i can have hope that there are brighter days to come then anyone can i suppose so maybe i can market some kind of real hope in a jar. makes billions, and finally walk out of a bathroom in LA right back into Rob's bed!!!!!!

Saturday, January 23, 2010

going crazy? oh no sister i'm already there!

i think that i ahould go find a job where i can work 24 hours a day- i can't stand being at home- my kids drive me crazy- well actually just the little one- all he does in whine and cry about everything that he wants- he wants to watch mickey mouse christmas then mickey mouse sports then dora and he's NEVER satified and then there's the asshole- but then there's always the asshole- just try to even just look in his direction without wanting to vomit but i can't his voice makes me sick is presents makes me want to stick a knife in my neck i just hate him soooo much- no i actually loathe him and i don't loathe that many people (yeah i know who am i kidding i pretty much loathe everyone) anywho i'm sitting around passing time waiting for the sabres game to start at 10:30 i can't wait till this west coast road trip is over i'm missing some good hockey i'm sure he 6 out of 10 points so far ain't too bad- well back to slingo classic on facebook- there's only so many different ways i can express my hatred for the man i vowed to "love and cherish" till death do us part- that last part couln't come fast enough!!..........

Friday, January 22, 2010

whatever

so i just got home from work because i have to work tommorow so i decided to write now instead of when the asstouch hole gets home cause this is what he tells me the other day "don't touch my computer" #1 his brother bought this laptop for the both of us #2 FUCK OFF YOU DOUCHE BAG #3 i'll call my brother in law and tell him that his brother is being an asshole and it will all be resolved #4 WHATEVER!

o this is my life people- i live with a "man" that i wish would fall of a cliff and my kids drive me crazy about 3/4 the time that we r together- but then Nick will call me his "sweet" and tell me that he loves me and he's so cute and good then 2 seconds later he screaming because he has 2 stop playing the GD Wii andthe other one is just a demon seed 99% of the time and the the other 1% he's asleep- but i digress i love my kids A LOT but i don't love my husband, i don't even like him he's just a asshole-his RA is so bad it just makes him this nasty mean degrating asshole that thinks his life is the worst out there HELLO, HAITI speaking of which Rob is going to be on the Hope 4 Haiti telethon thingy 2nite that George Clooney is hosting YEAH... anyway that's it 4 today i suppose the toaster oven just "dinged" and the chicken nuggets are done so it's lunch time for the boys...

TTFN

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

where's the romance

so maybe that's whats making me so unhappy the romance is totally gone- he does nothing "special" 4 me anymore do u know what i got for xmas- NOTHING he'll olny get me something if hes knows i want it- he used to buy me stuff all the time and without asking me what i wanted b4 hand- i had to force him 2 see twilight and new moon with me and russ just shows up at the theatre waiting 4 tracey to get there- really i wish i would have seen him 1st (russ i mean haha) i mean it's just like we're and here that's it nothing else- i just wish that he did stuff 4 me or even was a little romantic not just when he's wants "some" and trust me there's not a lot of romance going on to get me in the mood (i watch new moon and i'm all set) idk i just want 2 be loved again not just someone 2 make dinner, take care of the kids, do the laundry and whatever else he's thinks i am supposed to do around here

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

a flat tire really?!

so today was ok work was good but then as i was driving home i got a flat tire on grand island of all places it's so dark and u can go 65-70 mph. i called 911 and they sent out a state trooper and then a tow truck but really, REALLY can i catch a break or what. i guess not and now the sabres are losing 4-0 and they pulled lailme and put in miller i hope they can a least score a frigin goal. i'm talking 2 my bff dan from vegas right now and he always makes laugh my ass off and it makes me feel better- i wish i could jump on a plane and go there cause i miss him and jenny so bad! yeah the sabres just scored 2 goals in a couple of minutes!!!
so i guess today was good only a little yelling with the ahole husband and i got to get lots of kisses from my boy nicky- that's all i needed today was kisses from my boy!

Monday, January 18, 2010

just another other day in paradise

so today was just another day of the same old shit- work home no talking (just to my sons and my brother in law) not that i care- i love just surfing the web, writing my "new" blog and looking at pics of HOT guys i wish i was with!
i hate this life i lead but i live with it cause what else am i gonna do- i have no where 2 go and no one 2 take care of us- yeah my family and friends would help- but they can't keep us with them 4ever at some point i need to take care of them on my own and it scares the hell out of me- i'm 35 with 2 kids, 100lbs overweight it's not like myy door is gonna be knocking down with hot young men for me to have my way with- but i digress.
i never want to get married again i have no desire, unless he's rich and i never have 2 worry about money again- no work, no money problems, a personal trainer, no worries- it would help if he was good looking but if he has money what to i care- like they say 1st times for love 2nd times for money!!!!!!!!!!!!
so this sounds like i'm about to slash my wrists but i'm really not i just want to b left alone like not just by my "husband" but my kids 2- i want to take a bath and not have people banging on the door or coming in and out- or even just 2 pee without someone coming in and bothering me but amyways that all 4 2day enough with this crap- GO SABRES!

Sunday, January 17, 2010

WTFi

so this is my life in a nutshell- i hate my husband he;s a huge asshole my kids drive my beyong crazy but this is it and i guess that i have to deal with it so here's how it all started
i was in the crapiest relationship ever before i met my husband and when i did meet him i thought i met my "knight in shining armor" whoa was i wrong but i digress i got married and thought that everything was going to be great 4ever wow was i wrong people say that kids are the best things ever right anyway i wake up every morning an wonder how i got here everyday i wake up and wish that i would wake up a 100lbs less, beautiful (more) and ling next to Robert Pattinson- wow what a wack job i am i'm in totally obsessed with a 23yr old actor and the character that he plays in a movie- how much he loves bella and the way he talks to her i mean is there a guy out there that really is like that probably not but i wish the man in my life would at least be nice and not tell me everyday that i am a shitty mother, that the house is a mess, clean it and drinks and smokes until he finally goes to bed. Is that really too much to ask- i know that i'm not the best person in the world, i hate old people, and mostly everyone else but i don;t think that i deserved to have such a shit life, but i really must have pissed someone off really bad!! so this is my first post and it feel sgood to get this crap off my chest and not to be facebook page because i'm starting to scare people and i don't want to borden peeople in my life with my ramblings of how much in sucks but it does and i deal with it si till next time...