Saturday, January 30, 2010

it's not pitch black a 5 o'clock anymore

i was at work yesterday and when we left it actually wasn't pitch black- that makes me happy! spring is a comin'!!
my bestest friends believe that we need counseling which is totally true- IF both parties were willing- he would probably go tell them it's all me and never change- he needs to stop drinking so much and smoking all together but he won't i've asked him a thousand times and he will not stop either one so it's useless. I don't want to hate him as much as i do but he makes its soooo easy. i don't get the obession with the drinking yes i know i had a "bit" of a drinking problem when i was younger but the key word in that statement was "younger" i'm 35 yrs old and have 2 kids i don't drink a case of beer in 2 days like their father or smoke a pack of cigs a day with a no so great family history like him. i don't want to break up this family the boys need him around he's a great father to them but i need a husband not just a father 4 my kids. i guess thats all for today i've got my work "holiday" party 2nite yeah!.....0

Thursday, January 28, 2010

frigin snow

what's with the snow- i know i live in Buffalo get used to it already but 2day was really freaky- first i wake up to a couple of inches on my car- then i get to work and it's sunny 2 hours later you can't c across the street an hour after that it's sunny again then 2 hours after that it's like a frigin blizzard again WEIRD! i think the apocalypse in coming oh well what ev's

i just can't wait 4 spring to get here!! i leave 4 my cruise on the 23rd of april and i can't wait!!! the could sail me around Miami and back and i wouldn't care as long as i was away from this house- speaking (or not speaking) of which it has been 11 glorious days not speaking to my AHOLE husband- i've never has this many days in a row of happiness!!!!!!!.

well that's all 4 2day- hey the sabres won last night- it took a shoot out but a wins a win i don't care how they get it!! GO SABRES!!!!!!!.........

Monday, January 25, 2010

mean people SUCK

ok i am a receptionist in a dental office and today the old saying "don't shut the messanger" REALLY took affect- listen asshole it's not my fault your 8 yr old dentures broke and that the doctor hasn't seen you since '03 but i'm not taking you nasty ass denture over the counter to have fixed- you will wait your turn, see the doctor 4 an exam and wait patiently for the lab tech to fix them or you can shove you nasty ass dentures straight up your ass. It's monday asshole take a fucking chill pill or die your old bastard- oh btw i'm about the meanist person to roam the planet on 2 legs- i hate people- that's my general rule- treat people how you expect to be treated that's how i feel but apparently people in the NF region of NY don't feel that way- (i thinks it's because of LOVE CANAL) they aren't as smart as the rest of WNY- but anywho i digress- be nice to me and i'll be nice to you- at least to your face! GO SABRES!......

Sunday, January 24, 2010

hope in a jar

so i just got out of the shower and i was drying my face and then i reached for my "hope in a jar" cream, applied it to my face and then had a thought that maybe there could be "hope in a jar". But i'm no that confident that that is even possible since when i come out of the bathroom, i'm still in my crap house with my crap husband and not exiting a bathroom in LA on way BACK to Rob's bed.
But i digress- i can always have hope that at some point in my life i will be hopeful again- i look at my kids and think that this crap life that i have right now can change- which brings me back to the jar- if i can have hope that there are brighter days to come then anyone can i suppose so maybe i can market some kind of real hope in a jar. makes billions, and finally walk out of a bathroom in LA right back into Rob's bed!!!!!!

Saturday, January 23, 2010

going crazy? oh no sister i'm already there!

i think that i ahould go find a job where i can work 24 hours a day- i can't stand being at home- my kids drive me crazy- well actually just the little one- all he does in whine and cry about everything that he wants- he wants to watch mickey mouse christmas then mickey mouse sports then dora and he's NEVER satified and then there's the asshole- but then there's always the asshole- just try to even just look in his direction without wanting to vomit but i can't his voice makes me sick is presents makes me want to stick a knife in my neck i just hate him soooo much- no i actually loathe him and i don't loathe that many people (yeah i know who am i kidding i pretty much loathe everyone) anywho i'm sitting around passing time waiting for the sabres game to start at 10:30 i can't wait till this west coast road trip is over i'm missing some good hockey i'm sure he 6 out of 10 points so far ain't too bad- well back to slingo classic on facebook- there's only so many different ways i can express my hatred for the man i vowed to "love and cherish" till death do us part- that last part couln't come fast enough!!..........

Friday, January 22, 2010

whatever

so i just got home from work because i have to work tommorow so i decided to write now instead of when the asstouch hole gets home cause this is what he tells me the other day "don't touch my computer" #1 his brother bought this laptop for the both of us #2 FUCK OFF YOU DOUCHE BAG #3 i'll call my brother in law and tell him that his brother is being an asshole and it will all be resolved #4 WHATEVER!

o this is my life people- i live with a "man" that i wish would fall of a cliff and my kids drive me crazy about 3/4 the time that we r together- but then Nick will call me his "sweet" and tell me that he loves me and he's so cute and good then 2 seconds later he screaming because he has 2 stop playing the GD Wii andthe other one is just a demon seed 99% of the time and the the other 1% he's asleep- but i digress i love my kids A LOT but i don't love my husband, i don't even like him he's just a asshole-his RA is so bad it just makes him this nasty mean degrating asshole that thinks his life is the worst out there HELLO, HAITI speaking of which Rob is going to be on the Hope 4 Haiti telethon thingy 2nite that George Clooney is hosting YEAH... anyway that's it 4 today i suppose the toaster oven just "dinged" and the chicken nuggets are done so it's lunch time for the boys...

TTFN

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

where's the romance

so maybe that's whats making me so unhappy the romance is totally gone- he does nothing "special" 4 me anymore do u know what i got for xmas- NOTHING he'll olny get me something if hes knows i want it- he used to buy me stuff all the time and without asking me what i wanted b4 hand- i had to force him 2 see twilight and new moon with me and russ just shows up at the theatre waiting 4 tracey to get there- really i wish i would have seen him 1st (russ i mean haha) i mean it's just like we're and here that's it nothing else- i just wish that he did stuff 4 me or even was a little romantic not just when he's wants "some" and trust me there's not a lot of romance going on to get me in the mood (i watch new moon and i'm all set) idk i just want 2 be loved again not just someone 2 make dinner, take care of the kids, do the laundry and whatever else he's thinks i am supposed to do around here

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

a flat tire really?!

so today was ok work was good but then as i was driving home i got a flat tire on grand island of all places it's so dark and u can go 65-70 mph. i called 911 and they sent out a state trooper and then a tow truck but really, REALLY can i catch a break or what. i guess not and now the sabres are losing 4-0 and they pulled lailme and put in miller i hope they can a least score a frigin goal. i'm talking 2 my bff dan from vegas right now and he always makes laugh my ass off and it makes me feel better- i wish i could jump on a plane and go there cause i miss him and jenny so bad! yeah the sabres just scored 2 goals in a couple of minutes!!!
so i guess today was good only a little yelling with the ahole husband and i got to get lots of kisses from my boy nicky- that's all i needed today was kisses from my boy!

Monday, January 18, 2010

just another other day in paradise

so today was just another day of the same old shit- work home no talking (just to my sons and my brother in law) not that i care- i love just surfing the web, writing my "new" blog and looking at pics of HOT guys i wish i was with!
i hate this life i lead but i live with it cause what else am i gonna do- i have no where 2 go and no one 2 take care of us- yeah my family and friends would help- but they can't keep us with them 4ever at some point i need to take care of them on my own and it scares the hell out of me- i'm 35 with 2 kids, 100lbs overweight it's not like myy door is gonna be knocking down with hot young men for me to have my way with- but i digress.
i never want to get married again i have no desire, unless he's rich and i never have 2 worry about money again- no work, no money problems, a personal trainer, no worries- it would help if he was good looking but if he has money what to i care- like they say 1st times for love 2nd times for money!!!!!!!!!!!!
so this sounds like i'm about to slash my wrists but i'm really not i just want to b left alone like not just by my "husband" but my kids 2- i want to take a bath and not have people banging on the door or coming in and out- or even just 2 pee without someone coming in and bothering me but amyways that all 4 2day enough with this crap- GO SABRES!

Sunday, January 17, 2010

WTFi

so this is my life in a nutshell- i hate my husband he;s a huge asshole my kids drive my beyong crazy but this is it and i guess that i have to deal with it so here's how it all started
i was in the crapiest relationship ever before i met my husband and when i did meet him i thought i met my "knight in shining armor" whoa was i wrong but i digress i got married and thought that everything was going to be great 4ever wow was i wrong people say that kids are the best things ever right anyway i wake up every morning an wonder how i got here everyday i wake up and wish that i would wake up a 100lbs less, beautiful (more) and ling next to Robert Pattinson- wow what a wack job i am i'm in totally obsessed with a 23yr old actor and the character that he plays in a movie- how much he loves bella and the way he talks to her i mean is there a guy out there that really is like that probably not but i wish the man in my life would at least be nice and not tell me everyday that i am a shitty mother, that the house is a mess, clean it and drinks and smokes until he finally goes to bed. Is that really too much to ask- i know that i'm not the best person in the world, i hate old people, and mostly everyone else but i don;t think that i deserved to have such a shit life, but i really must have pissed someone off really bad!! so this is my first post and it feel sgood to get this crap off my chest and not to be facebook page because i'm starting to scare people and i don't want to borden peeople in my life with my ramblings of how much in sucks but it does and i deal with it si till next time...